How To Be A Successful Husband In Islam

How to be a Successful Husband: 10 Tips

(By: Abdul Kareem)

Assalam Alaikum mi Dear Loveli Muslim Memebers.

may this reach u in the best way of Life, and Health..Inshaa;Allah.may Allah give u the strenght to read this Loveli little Note.........Ameen ya Allah.............


1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good.When was the last time us men went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the cutest names for your wife. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - had nicknames for his wives, ones that they loved. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don't treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it 'bugs' us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day - which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to 'bug' him. Don't treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives - radi Allahu 'anhunn. It's a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even if he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don't let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don't have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don't be little her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah - radi Allahu 'anha - was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and Play games with your wife. Look at how Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - would race his wife Aisha - radi Allahu 'anha - in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah's Messenger - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam: "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family." Try to be the best!

In conclusion: Never forget to make Dua to Allah - azza wa jall - to make your marriage successful. And Allah ta'ala knows best !!

The Importance Of Marriage

Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid

With regard to marriage, people are of three types:

1 – Some fear that they may fall into haraam things if they do not get married. Such a person has to get married, according to the majority of fuqaha', because he has to keep himself chaste and protect himself against doing haraam things, and the way to do that is getting married.

2 - One who feels desire but there is no danger of his falling into haraam. It is better for him to get married than to devote himself to naafil acts of worship. This is the view of ashaab al-ra'y and it is the view of the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them and their deeds).

Ibn Mas'ood said:

If I only had ten days to live and I knew that I would die at the end of them, and I had any desire to get married, I would get married, for fear of fitnah (temptation).

Ibraaheem ibn Maysarah said: Tawoos said to me: "Either get married, or I will say to you what 'Umar said to Abu'l-Zawaa'id: Nothing is keeping you from getting married except impotence or immorality."

3- The one who has no desire either he is impotent or very sick and can not saticfie his wife so seek a doctor for that and then try to get married

......................................................................................

it is possible for a person to be pious without being married, but this is rare.

Usually no one forgoes getting married except one who is either impotent or promiscuous,

as 'Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allaah be pleased with him) said to a man who had not got married:

"Nothing is keeping you from getting married except either impotence or immorality."

If you think that not getting married is an act of worship by means of which you can draw closer to the Lord of the Worlds, and you think that if you avoid marriage doing all kinds of worship will raise you in status before Allaah, you are mistaken and there is the fear that you may be sinning.

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? Allaah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and said: "Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allaah, I am the one who fears Allaah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5063) and Muslim (1401).

And it was enjoined by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). It was narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn Mas'ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said,

"O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity. And whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400.

If you say that you are afraid of being poor, and you do not have enough wealth to look after a family, I say to you:

Try your best to earn a living and be content and think positively of Allaah, for He has promised on the lips of His Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) that He will help the one who wants to be chaste and seeks that which is halaal by getting married.

It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "There are three whom Allaah is bound to help: the mujaahid who strives (in jihad) for the sake of Allaah, the mukaatib (a slave who has made a contract of manumission with his master) who wants to pay off his manumission, and a man who gets married, seeking to remain chaste."

Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1655), classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

If you have something that you want to achieve – such as a certificate, a position, a project and so on – and you say that you want to achieve that first, then you will get married, we say to you: Why are you ignoring marriage for that reason?

Marriage has never been a barrier to achieving things, rather in most cases it is a support and a help. That is just the whisperings of the shaytaan, which he has instilled in the minds of many young men so that it has become prevalent in our culture and society, and you hear many of those who have delayed their own marriages or the marriages of their sons and daughters saying such things, and our society has become burdened with problems resulting from large numbers of single men and women, and the delay of marriage, but despite that we have not seen any achievement, development or progress, whereas the first generation of Muslims used to hasten to do good and they did not delay marriage, and their achievements were the greatest and most complete of achievements.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo' al-Fataawa (20/421):

What is required is to hasten to get married, and no young man or young woman should delay marriage for the sake of studies, because marriage does not prevent any such thing. It is possible for a young man to get married in order to protect his religious commitment and morals, and enable him to lower his gaze. Marriage serves many purposes, especially in this day and age. Because delaying it is harmful for both young women and young men, every young man and every young woman should hasten to get married if there is a man who is compatible with the woman, and if a man can find the right woman.

And over and above all that, how about if you realize that marriage will protect half of your religion?

It was narrated from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Whomever Allaah has blessed with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allaah with regard to the other half. Narrated by al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (2/175), al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat (1/294)

How about if you realize that by getting married, you will have followed the advice of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said:

"O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one's chastity." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5065)and Muslim (1400).

How about if you realize that by producing a righteous child you will have ongoing charity (sadaqah jaariyah), if you raise him with good morals and faith, and you will be rewarded for your marriage if you seek reward with Allaah for that.

By getting married, you will be protecting yourself, lowering your gaze, and closing the door to one of the greatest means by which the shaytaan deceives people. He will do everything so you will not get married and at the same time try to do everything so you can fall into fitna. You may not feel the seriousness of that now, but fitnah may come from places a person does not realize, so you should be keen to close the door before it is opened without you realizing it.

How many men and women have ended it just because they were not ready, there is a lot they have to do first, they have to wait(to do so and so), i haven't meet him/her enough(shaytaan! so it would fall into fitna), it feels good but we have only known each other for a couple of months(you get to know each other then get married not have to wait for time to pass) it is something wrong with him or her (as if you are perfect), everything was right but i had this feeling(cold feet = shaytaan)

Every time two muslims get together for doing something good shaytaan is there either to start fitna or especially end it when they want to get married because it will please Allaah, he will never stop until he gets what he wants. One of the means that the Shaytaan uses to misguide people is by casting doubts and whispers (waswaas) into their hearts(the feeling). So even if something is very small a feeling, wanting to meet more, you are not ready(even if you were before), shaytaan will push so you will think that it is the truth and you are doing the right thing.

If Allaah have given you a righteous wife or husband that have everything or most of the things Allaah says you should look for in a spouse(that they would help you get closer to Allah, help you get on the right path) and you reject it for having doubt and not trusting Allah then you have not accepted what Allah have given you and accepted what shaytaan have been telling you for lies and after that you assume that Allaah will forgive you because you chose to take the easy way and the wrong way instead of what Allah has given you.

If you love someone you will do everything to make them happy and you will accept every gift they will give you and know that it is something good because they will never hurt you. So if you love Allah you would do the same thing and accept the gift he gives you even if you are scared because Allah would never give you something that is not good as it HE says in the quran:

"Allâh burdens not a person beyond his scope...."

(Al-Baqara 2.286)

Marriage is a source of tranquility and peace, and it is the best of the pleasures of this world. In it is that which Allaah has made a sign for His slaves, and He has mentioned it in His Book so that they may think and ponder the greatness of His might, may He be glorified and exalted. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect"

(al-Room 30:21)

And an important hadith

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "I have not left behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5096) and Muslim (2741).

Can there be any hesitation after this?

Be resolved and put your trust in Allaah, and Allaah will help you, and will provide you with a righteous wife who will help you to obey your Lord and He will bless you with righteous offspring who will be a stored treasure for you with Allaah in the Hereafter and don't let shaytaan win fight and win over him, so do everything in you can to make it work with your future spouse.

Shaykh Muhammad Saalih al-Munajjid (using the quran, hadith and authentic scholars)

A Wife

A Wife

A talk by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami


By getting married you are not just getting a wife, you are getting your whole world. From now until the rest of your days your wife will be your partner, your companion, and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years. She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and failures, your dreams and your fears. When you are ill, she will take the best care of you; when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

When you have a secret, she will keep it; when you need advice, she will give you the best advice. She will always be with you: when you wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will see will be hers; during the day, she will be with you, if for a moment she is not with you by her physical body, she will be thinking of you, praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul; when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams. If you find her never let her go because you will find her only once in a lifetime. When you get to know her you already know if she would be there for you in sickness in health, through good times. She will accept you for who you are and overlook your bad habits and in short, she will be your whole world and you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read describing the closeness of the spouses to each other is the Qur'anic verse which says: "they are your garments and you are their garments" (Surah Al Baqarah 2:187). Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans. Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments! Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover, and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most amazing of all human relations: the amount of love and affection, intimacy and closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable. The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala, "And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..." (Surah Al Nahl 16:72) Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power, Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses. In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans to His existence as He says in the Qur'an, "And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that the human heart is not a static entity, it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic. Feelings can and do change with time. Love may wither and fade away. The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for. Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted; continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides. For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing, the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.

Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "one would be rewarded for anything that he does seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he puts in the mouth of his wife."

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little things as putting food in your wife's mouth, opening the car's door for her, etc. Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would always remain strong. Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds. Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion, spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said "the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and honor their spouses until death do them part. I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough! It is not enough that you love your wife. You have to love what she loves as well. Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones. Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents coming to visit for few weeks. He candidly said to her "I don't like your parents." Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in the eye and said " I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love her until death do you part. Love should never end and we do believe there is life after death where those who did righteousness in this world will be joined by their spouses (Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25 years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."